It was in my early 40s that I discovered that I was an introvert. By then, I had achieved what seemed a well-adjusted life: a stable and rewarding career, three lovely children, a fantastic partner.
It's amazing how great life can be when we no longer feel bad about who we are.
Is this you?
You’ve been told in countless ways that in order to be happy, you have to stop being quiet, and instead need to be outgoing, enthusiastic, openly share, have lots of friends and connections (aka: be extroverted).
So you tried and tried, and then tried a bit more. But it didn’t work. So you withdrew from the world.
After a while, the loneliness and boredom became too much, so you tried to be outgoing again…and it still didn’t work; you didn’t build lasting connections. So again, you withdrew.
And maybe now you’re at a point where you can’t imagine trying one more time to be extroverted and you know you don’t want to spend one more day being completely on your own.
Why do I know this about you?
Because I went around this loop so many times until about the age of 40 when I discovered I was introverted.
What I learned over time is that introvert problems can’t be solved using extrovert solutions.
If you’re introverted and struggling to shift your life, I can help you with that because I’ve been there, I get it, and I know the pathway out of feeling inadequate due to being quiet.
I grew up in a home with 6 siblings and parents that didn’t have great coping skills. This was not the most functional home; there was a variety of neglect, addiction issues, and overall bad behaviour.
As a quiet kid, I was able to withdraw from all this chaos by spending time outside and living in my head. I learned that if I stayed out of the way and kept quiet, that I could pass many days not being noticed.
This worked to keep me safe but it didn’t work when it came to making friends. It’s really hard to make a friend when you don’t really talk to anyone.
After many failed attempts at friendship and romantic relationships, I was in a pretty dark place.
I was in my early 20’s when I started going to counselling. This was the best decision I ever made.
Through counselling, I was able to deal with some pretty hard stuff but was still quiet. I realized that I had made the assumption that I was quiet due to my dysfunctional family.
And then in came Susan Cain, and her TED talk; this was a big aha moment for me. This began my journey into exploring the world of introversion and how to live a good life as an introvert.
Slowly, I was able to start to challenge the negative messages I received about being quiet. I also started to talk to a few other people that were introverted and I felt like I had finally found a ‘home’; a small group of people that really understood me.
I now help other quiet people on this journey so they don’t have to do it on their own.
Why work with me?
Well, I understand what it’s like to be an introvert in an extroverted world and I’m also a really good therapist.
I understand that for introverts, we struggle with needing people and needing to be away from them as well. I can help you understand this about yourself and offer some possible solutions.
I can help you discover the many ways you have tried to cope with being an introvert in a world that has continually pushed you to be different. I coped with this by keeping super busy. It helped me not notice my lack of relationships.
I can help you with
- Constant feelings of irritation
- Feeling numb
- Being too closed off that it makes deeper connections hard to form
- Managing larger social gatherings
- Liking your introverted self
- Asking for what you need
I strongly believe that no one needs to feel bad about being a quiet person and I want to help quieter people feel good about who they are.
When you get to a place of feeling pretty good about being quiet, the shame and embarrassment for being quiet starts to get smaller. This is pretty life-changing.
A few interesting things to know about me
- It brings me immense joy when I take my dog out for a walk in nature; I love making her happy.
- I gave birth to one introvert, one highly sensitive person, and one shy extrovert.
- My favorite book is “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed, and I secretly hope to one day walk the Pacific Crest Trail on my own.
My most favorite thing
Thank you so much for reading this. The last thing I want to let you know is that I really love my work. I love helping the quieter people move past the pain of not liking who they are and begin to see that life can (and will) be good as an introvert.
I would love to have a conversation with you to see if I might be helpful to you on your journey.
Please get in touch and let’s arrange a complimentary consultation where we can find out together how you could benefit from working with me.
Tracy graduated with her Masters in Social Work: Clinical Specialization. In order for her to round out her counseling skills, she then became a Certified Hakomi therapist. This therapy helps deepen the body-mind connection which leads to more sustainable changes and a deeper understanding of why we get stuck in repeating the same behaviors that no longer serve us.